Tinnitus

Tinnitus back with a vengance today. Ringing high pitched in my right ear today since I got up this morning. I put it down to stress at work in the past two days. Arrgh…

Well its Friday, which means last day at work today, and my weekend off to not think about it. Hope tonight goes quick.

My friend comes back today from her week away. We will be having a bottle of wine tonight with dinner, when I’m back from work. Her treat.

Tomorrow we will make a day of it down Mansfield.

So should be relaxed and chilled.

As you know…

As you know from earlier posts I’ve not been happy with myself for a long time. This is going back now a couple of years, but I went on a particular downer last year, because of grieving for my hearing loss which totally surprised me, as I’ve been wearing hearing aids since 2002. It was only because of going to my appeal for my DLA that because there was stuff I had to, or may have to raise, I realised their was stuff hidden up there in my head I never even thought about myself as well as tell my Mum, regarding exactly how I feel about my hearing or the feelings I have now.

As you also know from earlier posts I’ve been having counselling (the one the G.P. referred me to), and it’s coming up to my last one next Wednesday. My counsellor this week recommended I at least think about taking anti-depressants, because of how I am mentally and overall health being affected because of the situation I’m in at present, and the stuff I’m having to deal with that has come out in my counselling sessions over the last few weeks, with also my problem neighbour not making it any better.

With it being going on along time for me, my session this week she did most of the talking, so she could explain to me how the brain works etc.. and that it was normal to feel how I am, because what’s I’ve had to deal with in my life and the situation I’m in that’s going for a long time. So what I’ve been experiencing I realised I was having more symptoms cropping up that is linked to how I am. The counsellor also explained that how I’ve been upset etc.. in my sessions and how I’m still tearful now, that it was ok to take them but it was also up to me if wanted to, but to think about it at least especially as my last session is next week, and not being able to remove myself from my current situation.

I’m not one for taking tablets if I can help it, but I realised I may have to, so I booked an appointment with my G.P. and seen him today about them, (my boyfriend came with me, to give me support) and raised my concerns regarding if I was to have them, getting emotional as I was trying to speak…. again. After having chat and any questions I had it was down to me whether I have them or not. G.P. reminding me I’m the one in control here and there is no pressure to go on them. But he said to me if you want my honest opinion from how I see you now, and what you have said, taking them would help you at this current time. I’ve decided to take some anti-depressants, so after deciding that, I had to tick a sheet that had a few questions on it regarding how I’ve been over the last 2 weeks, and I’ve had to make another appointment for 4 weeks time, to review it from there. I have enough tablets for those 4 weeks. I was told not to expect to see any results in myself till 2 weeks or after, and to take them every day even if I start to feel better in myself.

So from tomorrow morning I will start taking them. I never thought I’d end up here.

Banks…Arrrrrrrr!

Banks.. Arrrrrrr!

My last post “Had to take it further and now its sorted!” was when I let you know I had to take it further with my bank, but after being given a chance to sort it by Ombudsman, before I could take it further, it was sorted, or so I thought. And it was left to that.

Well just recently this month, I needed to get in touch as I have a problem, and using the agreed methods of contacting, I decided to write a letter. I’ve received no letter. So last night I sent a secured message which I received a response, and its started all over again. I’m to phone. HELLO…… Alliance & Leicester, WHICH part of HOH or deafness did you not understand. I was reassured this would not happen again. I was told in letter I could write, send a secure message, or go into any local branch. But you did not answer my letter, and when I sent a secure message I’m now expected to phone! DID I NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM LAST YEAR??

Well I’ve sent a reply of disgust via secure message, so I’m looking forward to their response. This lady who wrote to me higher up at a different A & L branch sent me apologies, and reassured me it would not happen again. AND IT HAS! So this customer service are either ignoring it, or she did not discuss it with them in the first place when I complained.

Well my comment I made to this person last year by letter who apologised, still stands. You lot at Alliance and Leicester need Deaf Awareness Training because I seriously feel let down by you ALL. You are not accessible in my eyes for deaf people, because what I’m told I can do as in means, in what way I can contact you, you are failing on.

Got it sorted!

Received an email from PALS after I complained about Audiology. They had spoken to a Specialist Audiologist on there about my difficulties, and I have her email address as so when I need to contact them for repairs, or appointments, I could use her email to do that.

Which when I tried this email address, it worked! So I’ll be collecting my tubing for my hearing aids today.

Ended up putting in a complaint to PALS after all!

  Well today I ended up putting in a complaint to PALS about Audiology. To see in depth the problem I had with them, look under tag ‘Audiology’ and this will bring up the two posts I previously written.

I needed to contact them today so I could request tubing for my hearing aids, so they have warning like they wanted so it would be ready to collect later that day. Although for my convenience I wasn’t in any hurry so wasn’t planning to collect until Friday.

So using this other email address that was given to me when I had to last time call in, because previous email address wasn’t working, I started to write my email out as advised and put in the address they had given, only to find this was not going anywhere either. There was no way I was going to play about with this email address like I did with the other for half an hour, only to probably find the same thing it not going anywhere, so I’ve emailed PALS and told them the problem, and asking them to either email me or get Audiology to as so its typed down as it should be put, as to save any confusion, and hopefully…. this time…. I’ll have a working email address!

I’ll keep you posted!

Do you work…

People are not supposed to discriminate disabled people when it comes to applying for a job, and the acts are there to stop this. But does it help?

I believe in my own experience that in the past a couple of jobs out of the few I applied for, I was discriminated because of my deafness. But its hard to prove. I was experienced in the area I applied for, and flexible too. But never got anywhere, so I feel I’m stuck where I am. I have even gave up applying for jobs after over 3 years of doing this. Not because of the discrimination I feel possibly went on, but because how everything is at the moment with the recession and people loosing their jobs. I feel I need to stay where I am because its safe. You may say that no job is safe now. And I agree with that mostly, except for hospitals as they always need cleaners…. we do where I am, so this is why I feel I need to stay where I am.

But it doesn’t mean I have lost my dreams of doing something new in addition to my job or completely new if it went well. I’ve always liked the idea of giving it go as business with my hand made cards again. But I need to start this from home, and I can’t because of what the tenancy rules say. But maybe this will happen sometime in the future depending on if wherever I move to, if their tenancy agreement is different.

My deaf awareness I’m doing soon….

My deaf awareness I was doing with some friends and family I’ve discovered hasn’t gone to plan already! 2 out of the 4 I invited won’t be able to make it! So much for giving warning and I end up picking a Saturday they are going to the theatre, which was booked before Christmas. So they’ve got to go to that, which I understand.

I told my friend that she and my other friend would have to sort out a day between them, that they both could attend, then let me know what day and I’ll see what I can do, as I really need them together.

See what happens. At least I know my Mum and Richard will be there. So if it has to be done in pairs it don’t matter.

National Tinnitus Week

The British Tinnitus Association is holding National Tinnitus Week from 9th to 15th February 2009. See their website for further details, which I’ve included in the link on my blog to their site under ‘Other sites of interest’.

I’ve suffered tinnitus in my right since 2002, after I was diagnosed with deafness which is always there. I manage to forget its there most of the time except for a few occasions its bothered me. My tinnitus is a whistle, which if it gets worse that it bothers me it will go loud, so loud I feel I have to talk over it, although I don’t. The longer this goes on for I start to feel tired and can’t concentrate.

Tinnitus does get worse if your stressed, so it can be a vicious circle because the tinnitus is annoying and your’re stressed by it, but co you are stressed the tinnitus is still bad. Cd’s can help to relax you as so you take your mind of it. Yoga is good too as I’ve done this before. Now I just do some relaxation, or Me Day that I’m doing every Friday. (see earlier post for that, to understand what I’m on about). Everyone is different, so you will find your own thing to help you manage your tinnitus. Its first time I’ve actually visited this site, and I’ve found it very informative.

Some changes are happening – Part 6

  Had my first counselling session this week that my G.P. referred me for, for deaf issues I had and other problems affecting me. Felt tired and drained after it. Counselling will last for 6 to 8 weeks. One thing she asked for her own personal interest made me think though, even though I knew the answer. It was just the way it was asked that made me think. She asked me “which would I think may be easier for me, HOH as I am or completely deaf?” My response was that being totally deaf, although I’ve experienced this when I’ve had colds or viral infections is, that being deaf would scare me, and I don’t want to be deaf. Because when I’ve had the colds or virals and was deaf then, I felt isolated because one particular friend I have will not learn to text, so as I was deaf and couldn’t use the phone to see how she was, or unable to answer the phone myself because of my deafness, I felt isolated because of this. My Mum can text and my boyfriend does too.

I’ve since had this deeper chat to explain to my friend how isolated I feel at a time like that, and what it would mean to me if she learnt how to text. But as I said to my counsellor, if I had this chat with her I’m sure it would still be the same and I was right. I even suggested to my friend then what if I had a landline phone, and you had to phone me. How would you feel that I had to use Typetalk. Because I don’t hear on a normal now. She put her barrier up for that too as I expected. So I had to tell her that look here, I have hearing problems and I have to adapt whether I like it or not, you said it would be lovely if I have a landline phone, and if I do I have to use Typetalk. I explained that I’ve come across deaf people already who have had their calls rejected because some people can’t be bothered, because of Typetalk, and if people do this, and I can’t believe I’m getting my own best friend doing it, then you are putting the barriers up, and making it difficult for people like me.  If you don’t phone me because of this, then as you won’t text or email and now won’t phone, you are making me isolated. She’d said her reasons why regarding it, but I’m afraid at this point I was personally angry, disappointed and upset nearly, (which were the feelings coming across to my counsellor), and after explaining she said that’s why I like us to meet up personally or I come to yours. I replied but how are you going to contact me for that, you can’t just come round and assume I’m in, as you may have a wasted your journey coming round to find I’m not in. She realised in the end she would need to phone me on this, as this is what she does now and with other friends, especially when I want her to contact me directly and not through my Mum. So when I explained about Typetalk, she said she would phone if I had a phone or something, to make arrangements that way and to see how I was. But as for those personal chats that would bother her because of the person in the middle that’s relaying. So we got somewhere.

I told her at some point I was going to do a deaf awareness with  buffet included at some point, as this is something I discussed with my counsellor I felt I needed to do, so I can get you altogether so I can explain my deafness, do a couple of tasks with you, that would be an eye opener regarding deafness, because it was with my Mum, and she’s been there every step of the way!  So I’ll be doing that as well with you and some others with a game at the end. So hopefully it will be fun but you will all learn something new.

 

Deaf Awareness

Do you think Deaf Awareness should be compulsory in a work place? I think it would help if it was.

When people approach me about my deafness and ask questions I can happily chat about it, and go on as long as they want me to. But starting it off myself I find hard. I have work colleagues that know I’m HOH, and as you know I wear a badge there too. But some who know how my deafness effects me, don’t act accordingly as they should. I find a conversation has started, but I wasn’t aware and they wonder why I look blank.

In my job on a ward, I was pointed out a particular area to me that needed doing, but the way she approached I thought she was talking to someone past me, as she did not look like she was looking at me. It was only when I glanced up I seen her pointing at some soil on the floor, that I was working my way round to, that I knew it was me in the end she was speaking to after all, as I’m the only cleaner there!

 Also on this same area I clean, which I’ve been doing for a few years now, there are still some staff there that were originally there when I first started cleaning on this ward. But some have seem to forgot my deafness, although my deafness was made fully aware at the beginning. I get asked to do something and I’m not aware cos I did not hear my name be called, and they did not make sure I was looking at them first before speaking. The newer staff members seem to do a better job getting this right! I’ve had one of the original staff members come right up near me, only for me to bump into them when I turn around cos I did not hear them. Although this has not happened for sometime now.

Let me know what you think about this, and place your vote too! Thanks!